Nothing could have prepared you for what the ultrasound technician just told you. More than one heartbeat? No. Not me! After all, twins don’t even run in my family. Triplets? That only happens to other people. You’re stunned. You’re probably also a mixture of terrified, thrilled, bewildered, and worried. Heck, I went into denial for weeks! But alas, as it begins to sink in, you start Googling, and here you are.
As luck would have it, we have been in your shoes. With the help of our members, we have compiled a list of the top 10 things we wish we would have known when we found out we were expecting multiples.
1. You’re not in Kansas anymore
Whether or not this is your first pregnancy, it will not be like a singleton pregnancy, so your friends and family may not understand what you are experiencing. Give yourself a break, your body is very, very busy.
2. No birth is the same
Cesarean sections, vaginal births, or even (gasp!) both, are possible outcomes for your pregnancy. Your babies might be born early and stay in the NICU. They might stay inside until they are full term. The best thing you can do is be informed, but keep your mind open.
3. Schedule = Sanity
Keeping multiples on a schedule is the trick of the trade. They should eat and sleep at the same time, and it can begin when they are first born. It goes like this: Feed the babies at the same time, let them fall asleep. When one wakes up, you wake the other(s) up too. “Never wake a sleeping baby” does not apply to you. This schedule will be like a religion in your household. It will also be the best way for you and your partner to get any sleep.
4. …Speaking of sleep!
Research sleep training methods, find one you are comfortable with, and then adapt it to your lifestyle. There is no one-size-fits-all method for doing this, so take it all with a grain of salt.
5. You do NOT need two of everything
Get one of each of the big things and see what works for you and your babies before you go on a shopping spree.
6. Ask for help, but be specific
Both before and after your little bundles of joy arrive, learning to ask for help is important. Here’s the thing, though: some family and friends don’t know what to do. They come over, and they want to hold your babies. They think this is helpful. You may find that it is not. (Remember that schedule?) That’s when this piece of advice is most important: be specific. Tell them when to come, and what they can do. Sure, family wants to hold babies, and they will, but there is also time to throw in a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, or pick up toys.
7. Your mental health matters SO much
Our members were unanimous: babies only thrive when their mothers are healthy in mind and body. Postpartum mood disorders are significant barriers to caring for your infants, so take your well being seriously.
8. Under pressure? Not anymore!
Our society puts a lot of pressure on mothers these days. Being a mom of multiples can free you of that — after all, you’re already super human, so who can judge?
9. Find a local group of moms of multiples
We’re not just saying this because we are one. Finding a group of other moms of multiples is the best way to fight that overwhelming feeling you’re having right now. Most areas have groups like ours, and you can join while you are pregnant.
10. You really can do this.
Every single one of us doubted our ability to be a mother of multiples. But guess what? We are doing it. In fact, there are many who would say that you are uniquely qualified to be one. You are meant for this. Take a deep breath, remember that you are a badass, and trust us: You can do this.